I turn 30 years old today, and im STILL trying to live by these life lessons. But here are 20 of my most important lessons, i wish i knew when i was younger:
1 . You can not *and will not* please everyone.
Thassa FACT. ‘You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.’ Sad. But it’s true.
Not everyone is going to understand you, or agree with you – and that’s ok. Not everyone is going to like you. BUT You don’t need to bend over backwards, or lose sleep over trying to impress others, or fit the mold they feel is best. Stop constantly trying to satisfy everyone else. It’s exhausting. *Plus, some of those thoughts and feelings about others not liking you, mayyy just be in your own head…* After all, you wouldn’t worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they actually do. Learn to Be you. unapologetically.
2. You’re not always going to have it all together…
Reality is: No one does.
Sometimes life feels heavy. Messy. Chaotic, like everything is going wrong, mistakes and misfortunes happen. Sometimes you feel stuck.. But nothing lasts forever — what is broken, can be put back together and what is hurt, can be healed, what is lost can be found. A new day is a second chance — the sun will rise again. Let go of yesterday’s emotions and start fresh. Wipe the slate clean, look forward to new beginnings. You are going to get hurt, you are going to feel pain. At times, you will lose. But every time you break you become a little more alive. Every crack tells you a little more about yourself — your strengths, your weakness, — what you’re made of. Lessons. Our cracks are a part of who we are. Yes you are going to fail…. But that isn’t the end. Dont be afraid to take a path unforeseen… You will learn along the way, and better things may come from what you had originally planned, even if it doesn’t happen right away.
Its OK to not be OK. We see everyones *perfect – happy* lives, and forget EVERYONE struggles with their own shit. You do not have to have everything perfect or put together all of the time. Allow yourself to sort it out. You dont always need to know where you are going and what you are doing. You don’t need to do everything right the first time. Allow yourself to be human and feel the way you feel. Also allow yourself to talk about it, and seek further help if needed.
3. STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS!
We are all on our own journey in life with different experiences, life lessons and goals. They say that comparison is the thief of all joy, and there’s no question that the hours we spend measuring our own life against that of others is time that would be better spent being grateful for what we do have, and pursuing our own happiness regardless of what others may think.
FYI: What you see on Social media, is only a glimpse into real life. PLEASE please PLEASE don’t let what you see on the internet or someone’s social media consume you. You may see a “perfect” photo – but understand that most people typically only post something while at their best…. most using filters and lighting and angles and “photoshop”/apps and 1,275 takes, before posting an image they/we actually approve of.
We all have our own shit going on, that we don’t post about or share — so what you may see as a perfect photo, doesn’t mean its a perfect person or perfect life. Let go of the idea of perfection — we are not perfect. We are human. Let yourself be flawed.
4. Two things in life are certain: One, we die. Two, we must work until we die…. or at least for this things we need/want in life.
Ive ALWAYS have 2-3 jobs. Since I was 16. Ive been a hostess, worked manyyyy misc retail jobs, i’ve managed a cosmetics counter in a Nordstrom, been a makeup artist in store, and on my own freelancing, waited tables, bartend, worked in a brewery, been an auto sales manager, worked front desk at a tanning salon, spa AND at a swim school —- You get the idea – My jobs changed many times over the years – but while i had 1 or 2 part time side gigs to help me financially, “influencing” has always been my full time. *Or should I say, I tried to juggle enough so it could be…*
I have come to a point in my life that I knew in my heart a traditional 9 to 5, / part time jobs here and there, were hindering my creativity — not connected to my true passions, and draining my overall happiness. I was helping support THIER business and dreams, rather than my own. Life is too short to live that way when you’re a creator.
At the end of the day you need to do what makes YOU happy. Yes, you will most likely need to work the side jobs, and maybe even a few shitty jobs for a while – like the rest of us, to learn work ethic, build a resume and learn trades, etc, – while making money to pay your bills and to live off, of course. (NOTE: You should ALWAYS give your ALL while working XYZ part time/side jobs — even the ones you may not be thrilled about. You still need to give your all, in the best and most professional manner.) ….Work hard – BUT when you feel it is time, don’t be afraid to take a few leaps and follow your heart / your dreams, to get to your end goal. Take pride in what it is you do. Your job (even if its “just for now” is still important. You still matter and you can still stay on course to whatever it is in life you really want to do.)
Often we find ourselves in a mundane pattern. Be brave enough to travel to the unknown, to open yourself to something new. Strive to see extraordinary places and meet extraordinary people. Dream with the dreamers and do what you once thought was unthinkable. Explore. Discover. Do not let comfort determine where you stay. Let curiosity guide you. Let your eagerness for adventure, for diversity, for aliveness lead you. Do not be afraid of getting lost — you may just find what you need.
5. Do not settle for someone who only wants to love * parts of * you —
There is no such thing as part-time love. Be with someone who loves you for you… even the not so pretty parts. Do not settle for a star when you deserve the galaxy. Do not settle for a wave when you deserve the sea. Do not settle for anything less. Know your worth.
I fell in love when i wasn’t even looking. You should be with someone who makes you feel confident, secure, and beautiful. Someone who is genuinely interested in how you feel. What your goals and dreams are (and then pushes you/helps you towards them.) Lets you be you, even when you disagree. Includes you. Betters you. Accepts you for YOU.
6. Call & visit your family/friends… often.
We take things and people for granted — Getting consumed with our own day to day lives, forgetting that our loved ones won’t be here forever. One day they’ll be gone – and you’ll look back regretting time you missed out with them.
Trust me.
7. Life goes faster than you think.
The days feel so long, but looking back the years are so short. we spend half our lives wishing we were older and the rest wishing we were younger, without enjoying the moment and age we are actually in. Slow down and cherish the way things are. Appreciate the age you have reached, and reflect on the previous years, before you know it they’ll be gone in what feels like a blink.
No on knowns when their days will end *hopefully* – but there are the sad exceptions to this life law – Think about it. It’s bittersweet. We are all timers counting down. It could be today, it could be tomorrow, it could be 50 years from now. That’s reality. But it’s a reminder to make the most of whatever you decide to do in life, with the time you do have. Life and the time we are given is a gift, don’t waste it.
8. Life is full of beauty —
Make sure you take time to see it. And appreciate it. Life is not measured by time, it is measured by moments. You may forget when or where something happened but you will always remember how you felt. Focus on the things that truly matter. Capture the feelings that make you feel most alive, the memories that bring the most energy to your soul.
9. Your life path and choices, do NOT need to match someone else’s.
Meaning, you do not need to be married, have kids by a certain age *or ever if you do not feel either are meant for you* nor do you need to do these things in a certain order. Marriage and reproduction do not define your value as a person, or as a woman. (This is a similar idea to number 3, but still an Important reminder.)
10. Drink more water.
11. Learn from the times you are wrong.
Its ok to make mistakes…
but Its NOT OK to disregard the lesson it taught.
12. The way you think about and talk to yourself is SO important.
You must learn to love yourself. How you treat yourself is how you will allow others to treat you. What you think and hear most about yourself you will believe, and after all…who do we spend the most time with? OURSELVES. So write down your daily affirmations – look in that mirror and remind yourself of all the positive qualities you possess, and see the strong worthy important kind beautiful person you are.
13. Let’s talk tattoos.
DO NOT GET A TATTOO BEFORE THE AGE OF 20…. at least.
Your interests, your beliefs, your body, your choices, etc, will all change. Trust me.
I have my fair share of smaller tattoos, which i since wish i was smarter and had chosen an artist i researched for font and fine line style work specifically, rather than going to whomever…
three of my tattoos I cherish because of the meaning behind each, although end result is not the best work in my opinion as the ink bled, and the font is inconsistent. and one I regret. My first: I was 16. — but alas: here i am sharing this wisdom with you to prevent thus mistakes.
Don’t get me wrong: I fully support the choice, self expression, art and ink. Uniqueness. I just stress waiting on what you want for some time, prior to jumping the tattoo gun. **pun intended**
We are forever evolving and the person you were when you were 16 is not the same at 18, 18 changes when you’re 20, then 25, then 30, etc…. We continue to evolve. *hear me out: yes i know some things that are sentimental will be with you always… BUT the once trendy tribal print, has seen better days. And your ex-lovers name will be a constant reminder of them. What once was will not necessarily always be (unless you’re a tattoo, then that’s for life…. unless you pay for removal later on which is also no easy process.) But you get the idea 😉
14. Wear sunscreen.
15. Let’s talk: Priorities
We put effort in what matters to us. And that is telling of our charter. If its people, Your job, Your dreams, etc — These are where you spend the most time and energy. Make that time and energy count.
16. Remove toxic people from your life.
You are allowed to move on and change the people you surround yourself with. You can outgrow people, and that is ok! Your circle of friends and who you spend your time with should be positive, motivating, inspiring. If someone is holding you back or dragging you down its time to let them go. You are meant to grow, to bloom, to flourish… Live a lifestyle, with those that give you the space and the energy to do so.
17. Let it be, and let it go.
Sometimes, there are situations you are simply unable to change or fix. And you need to live with that. Understand what has happened to the best of your ability and lay it to rest. Learn from it then Move on. You deserve to move forward and to live your life without feeling regret.
18. You WILL be taken advantage of…
There are going to be people who take advantage of your kindness. They will also RUN with your trust, eagerness, inexperience/naivety – Dont let these experiences or ill willed people harden your demeanor or Attitude. Learn from them, and simply remember not everyone is who they portray to be, nor do they always care for YOUR wellbeing. Continue to spread kindness and trust – the world needs to be reminded.
19. Save Some Money, Honey.
There WILL come unexpected “rainy days” and you will need extra unplanned finances for them. Put a set % of your paychecks earrings into your savings. Let this build as long as you can, only using it for necessity and emergency.
20. Enjoy the little things.
One of the last things my nana told me the last time i saw her, while holding her hand… was to “enjoy the little things.” We tend to miss things in life while overwhelming ourselves with misc unimportant noise. Slow down. Look around, and take everything in. Enjoy every moment.
What are important life lessons you want to share?!
