Accutane. My Experience.

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Prepare yourself,
For the no filter–unflattering–TMI, (but honest)
post ALL about my acne and accutane journey!

*Grab a snack & a beverage, because this is a YEARS worth of word /photo vomit, for your viewing pleasure*

Sadly, I KNOW from my own experience; the feeling of embarrassment, and misery over having acne… There are SO many times I had a mental breakdown over my skin frustrations; After countless dermatologist appointments, and endless skincare routines. *It’s also expensive AF paying for all the appointments, and trying XYZ products, that just don’t work for you.*

I had oily skin + cystic & hormonal acne my entire life.
*well, since middle school…and Im now *almost* 30 years into life, so….*

To be fair, My bad skin would just randomly come and go. Some months I wouldn’t have anyyyyy breakouts! It would look good…Other months I would have 1-2 cysts somewhere on my face. *typically in the t-zone.* Not so great, but Bearable.

I often told myself the cycles of cystic breakouts were “not that bad” ….. but I recently started to ask myself: WHY did I ever even try to justify it?!?! *eye roll*

I suppose that’s just the optimist in me…

Early on, I became somewhat crazy about keeping my skin clean, and I always had a consistent skincare routine. I washed my makeup brushes every other day, and sanitized the area often. I washed my bedding 1x a week — I researched the ingredients and read the reviews on the products I would use on my face. I did everythingggg I could think of to try to prevent my skin from having those cycles of breaking out.

PSA: My cystic acne began before I even started to wear makeup.
(So I knew this wasn’t a direct cause, I just wanted to avoid adding to the situation whenever possible.) When i did start to wear makeup, I would go weeks with out wearing any, to try and help keep bacteria off of my skin.

*Still to this day, I honestly don’t wear makeup unless I have a reason to….
but day to day, or like while just running errands, etc – I don’t wear any!
(Which was a major reason why I would go so long in between posting videos/content the last few years… I was too self-conscious to film when I was having a flare up, and I did not want to cause my skin to flare up or even apply makeup on the breakouts that I was trying to heal…)

Cystic breakouts can be VERY painful. They usually last for WEEKS, *unless I paid for them to be injected with a steroid by my dermatologist, to help speed up the healing process…* Cysts are deep under the skin, and the area becomes very red and inflamed – so makeup may help with the redness, but it doesn’t do anything to conceal the look/size of them.

I truly thought it would get better the older I got….
I also thought we would eventually *like a year or two into the ordeal* find the perfect skincare topical routine, to rid my cystic / hormonal acne….

I was WRONG.

I had tried it ALL…. The fancy skincare brands and products, the old wives-tail remedies, and antibiotics. You name it – But these either did not work, or they would work for a couple weeks *like the antibiotics* and then i would just flare up all over again when i ran out of the 10-day medication….

My skin REALLY started to get much worse than it ever was before, in 2018…? This time, instead of 1-2 breakouts/cysts, I would have anywhere from 5-10 at a time, all on my face.They also started to develop on my scalp, chest and back! Adult acne is REAL…. and she came for me with vengeance.

I finally had enough.

My dermatologist *whom i adore* agreed, that i have been through the average medication & treatment options…. She knew my struggle, and knows i am avid about keeping my skin clean, not putting makeup on as much as possible, etc — She also knows what i do for a living, so she knew it was harming me mentally, l but also hindering my career! — from my day-to-day “influencing”/to reviewing product/or creating makeup looks, I would IMMEDIATELY remove any thing i had put on my face, or avoid posting in general to hide my troubled skin…

I was depressed AF.

*She sat down next to me, and hugged me.*

She explained my only options left were to either,
1. do a course of Accutane….
2. .or try another *maybe* option exploring my diet. *which would take months, to a year as well, to rule out what could *possibly* help reduce the break outs… “Studies have shown that sugars and dairy could activate acne because they are inflammatory. So, you can try to cut out dairy and sugar, to see if that effects the skin – however with this option, there is no guaranteed result.”

*SIDE NOTE: I have many friends/family whom all had done the course of accutane themselves, and were all very pleased with the outcome!
*They also all have GREAT skin now* So I was beyond READY to get started, in hopes to have skin that looked like theirs!

My mind was made up.

No more trial and error or “might work” options.
My doctor expressed the process, pros and cons of using accutane *AKA: isotretinoin*, and I did my own research. There are MANY known possible side effects to this medication… *which we will get to.*

But I had made up my mind, and wanted to start the course as soon as possible! Because I KNEW it would actually work, and finally CURE my skin concerns.

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Acne & Accutane 101

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• What is & what causes Hormonal / cystic acne?
  • Hormonal cystic acne is often due to the hormonal shifts and imbalances in the body – however hormonal acne can affect adults of any age as well. *yay me*
  • When your body’s hormone levels shift, it sends oil-producing glands into overdrive. Hormones stimulate oil production. An oil gland itself can become engorged or swollen, because it’s filled with hardened excess oil, and trapped bacteria, causing deep red painful bumps under the skin...*ew*
  • A number of other factors may also contribute…including puberty, menstruation and menopause. Hormonal acne comes as a direct result of the body’s estrogen, testosterone, and androgen hormone levels. These hormones fluctuate naturally throughout our lives on a 30-day cycle. When there is an increase of testosterone and decrease in estrogen, the skin responds by producing more oil. This overproduction of oil creates the congestion.

• What is Accutane?
  • This drug is a vitamin A derivative. It is a retinoid. 
  • This drug works by shrinking your oil glands, reducing the amount of oil that is produced. When your skin isn’t producing excess oil, it isn’t available to clog up pores and create breakouts. By controlling the oil, acne is also controlled.
  • Isotretinoin *as it is now formally called*, is available in a variety of brand names, including Absorica, Amnesteem, Claravis, Myorisan, and Sotret. The original brand name that most know this drug by is, “Accutane,” but it is no longer on the market.
  • Due to the seriousness of this drug, it is known to be a last resort to treat acne, if it has not responded to other treatment options prior.

• What is IPledge?
  • This is a risk management website, used to control prescribing, dispensing, and distribution of accutane/isotretinoin.
  • You will need to log in and complete a quick quiz, to keep the patient accountable during their course on the medication. You MUST do this *each month* after your monthly blood work, and prior to receiving your next prescription.
  • The purpose: iPLEDGE is to prevent pregnancy in anyone taking isotretinoin. It requires you to agree to using two forms of birth control, regardless of your sexual orientation, gender identity, or level of sexual activity.
  • WARNING: Taking isotretinoin at any time during your pregnancy, can result in external issues for your baby, including: an abnormally shaped skull, abnormal looking ears, including small or absent ear canals, eye abnormalities, facial disfigurements, cleft palate. It can also cause severe, life-threatening internal problems in your baby, such as: severe brain damage, possibly affecting the ability to move, talk, walk, breathe, speak, or think, severe intellectual disability, heart issues…..

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The Side Effects…

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• The most common side effects of Accutane are:
  • dry mouth, eyes, nose, lips, skin; itching, rash, nosebleeds, cracks in the corners of the mouth, cracking or peeling lips and skin, fragile skin (EX: no elective surgery, no waxing, no tattoos while taking the medication as you will bleed/bruise more/easier, and take longer to heal) eye inflammation, joint pain, thinning hair, back pain, dizziness, drowsiness, nervousness, or changes in your fingernails or toenails……These are some of the usual.

• SERIOUS side effects include:
  • Increased pressure in the brain. This is life-threatening. Symptoms: dizziness, headaches, nausea, blurred vision.
  • Some people also go through mood changes, such as irritability or sadness. There’s a potential for serious mental health problems, especially if you already have a history in mental health, including depression, psychosis, and suicidal thoughts. Warning signs include emotional outbursts, withdrawal, and seeing or hearing things that aren’t real. Get medical help immediately if you have any of these symptoms or serious side effects!

FYI: You are not limited to just these “common” or “serious” side effects mentioned above. There are many more, so I recommend you look up and read the FULL list, if you are to begin the treatment.
NOTE: You may also NOT donate blood while you are taking isotretinoin, and for at least 1 month after your treatment has finished.

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My Progress & Results...

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Andddddd
the award for
THE MOST UNFLATTERING
selfies goes to:

MEEEEEE!

My skin
BEFORE ACCUTANE:

Then, came the day I legit LOST my shit……

I had a HUGE mental breakdown.
Like, depression at its absolute finest. Ugly cry.

I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I HATED what I saw.

I began having breakouts consistently, no more “clear” days.
The breakouts were not only unsightly, but very painful.
They were everywhere! I was breaking out more frequent, experiencing longer lasting cysts, and they developed in more areas on my face, and body.

The cysts would occur all over my face, *but mainly chin, around mouth and cheeks.* Then they also began to occur on my back, chest and scalp.

The scarring post breakout, was the cherry on top of my ordeal.

Not only dealing with the break outs themselves, but now complete discoloration and texture all over my face and body.

I finally made my appointment to get started on the treatment….

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November 2019. Treatment Begin’s … kinda.

Your first appointment will be a consultation with your doctor, and a run down of all the info about the treatment process and medication….

You will also need to do ALL the tasks previously mentioned.

so really…its going to take a couple weeks to actually get started on the medication. ***BUT Dont get discouraged, it’s just the process – and before you know it, you’ll be more than half way over your course!
I promise.***

Once your pee stick, and blood work both come back negative for pregnancy, and you have logged into your ipledge account, they will fill your first prescription.

THEN you can finally begin to take it,
and let it start to work its magic.

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December 2019. Treatment *actually* begins!

• Dosage: 20MG, once daily.

• Side effects:
  • The Purge begins, all over my face, about two weeks into taking the medication.
  • My lips feel tight and are drier than normal.
  • I experience SEVERE and frequent nosebleeds…. Like, legit GUSHING out my nose holes. *Think: “Carrie” post prom scene.* ….You’re welcome for the visual. (The nose bleeds happen because the medication has started to dry you out. It’s scary but it’s normal. You can help avoid them using a humidifier and lubing up with aquaphor at night.)

Note: “Purging” is a normal part of the process!
*Its not a fun part…..or pretty* but this means its working!!
Purging is when your acne gets worse, before it gets better.
The medication is pushing out dead skin cells, and debris.
AKA: increasing the skincell turnover rate. The medication first expels the oil in your skin through the pores, which in turn causes more breakouts, and then dries up all other oils inside the body…
Basically: its clearing up your acne by working from the inside, out.
Just expect it to happen AND trust the process!
***This may happen more than once while you are on the treatment***

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January 2020

• Dosage: 20MG, once daily.

• Side effects:
  • Dry lips. some times they crack and bleed a bit.
  • Severe and frequent nosebleeds – still.
  • Purging more, all over face.
  • I had black heads develop all over my nose by the end of this month. * I had never experienced this before * But this is just a normal part of the process. Again, your skin is pushing out everything trapped underneath but it’s also drying out and producing more dead skin cells at this time while purging.
  • I began to have lower back pain/cramping, and leg pain…***HOWEVER, We are unsure if this was related to the accutane, or to a UTI i had at the time – but we decided as a precaution to bump down my dosage the following month…*

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Feb 2020

• Dosage: 10MG, once daily.

• Side effects:
  • Dry lips.
  • Nosebleeds.
  • Skin began to heal all recent “purge” break outs… you can see scarring as well from recent and previous breakouts too.
  • There is no way to sugar coat this: When you use the bathroom ….Your buttholes gunna bleed. YUPP. But, Its a common side effect that should only last a couple weeks. This happens to most taking it because the medication dries you out SO much from the inside, ALL your orifices will begin to dry/become much more sensitive. (Just like the nasal passage, and nosebleeds.) To help THIS particular area of concern, I suggest you increase your water intake, use a gentle stool softener, and use aquaphor, or a doctors recommended cream if necessary.
  • While were on the subject of blood: I also started to spot/get a light period again ….. (which for me is odd, because i have been on the IUD as birth control for over two years now, and stopped getting a period a few months after that was inserted into my CUTErus…. coincidence???? I think not — )
  • A rash develops on the tops of my hands. (like eczema/hives. No pain or itch – etc, just very dry and rough, inflamed skin.) ALSO SUPER COMMON WHILE TAKING THIS MEDICATION.

What I’m saying is:
This was a rough month….

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March 2020

• Dosage: 10MG – M, W, F and 20MG – Tues, Thurs, Sat, Sun, once daily. *Alternating the dosage, while increasing it, to try to avoid possible side effects. — Alternating for two weeks, then straight into 20MG, daily.

• Side effects:
  • Dry lips.
  • Nosebleeds.
  • Purged again. This time just on my chin and cheeks. I also had a few on my back.
  • I started randomly having what I/some call “hot flashes” – my face *mainly cheeks and nose* and ears, go bright red and burn. See photos, top and bottom left.

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April 2020

• Dosage: 30MG, once daily.

• Side effects:
  • Breakouts on face and body clear up.
  • Visible scarring from them seen in photos above.
  • I develop “chicken skin”… my skin became much more textured, but also “glass like/glowy.” *top three photos* Weird i know, hard to actually explain — but you can see in the photos above how much light bounces off my skin, like a natural highlight – and notice the texture within those areas. *mainly nose, forehead and cheek close to nose.*
  • Dry scalp and hair.
  • Skin is VERY sensitive to the sun. I never burned prior but TRUST me *your face & body will now burn very fast/easy while outside* So even if you never burned before, YOU WILL NOW and You better LATHER UP in ALL the SPF!!!!
  • Extremely dry lips. * they are inflamed, crack, bleed AND peel in legit sheets.*
  • Skin is MUCH more sensitive to product, and touch. (my quarantine mask literally rubbed skin off the top of my nose, while wearing it for maybe 30 min while grocery shopping..*see pic below*. It made giant raw spot that scabbed over.) I call this….”My old people skin.” Ya know, like how older people have paper like skin that bruises and cuts easy — that is now also me. And you if you’re this far into this fun jounery too.

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• Dosage: 30MG and 40MG, once daily. *Again alternating while increasing, for two weeks* ….then straight into 40MG once daily for the rest of May and June!

• Side effects:
  • Hot flashes. Even more intense. (check out the top left pic.)
  • Ive noticed now when I sweat, it seems to pool on top of my skin…. hard to explain – normally it would just drip off my face, but now it sits there on top of it – maybe one day i’ll remember to get a picture of it… probz not tho -_-
  • dry / tight lips, skin, eyes, ears, and skin. (but not as severe at they have been…)
  • I feel my face/skin looks “older” …due to being dry/tight, and most likely a sign i need to increase my water intake. (this also is probably because I am WAY over due for my routine filler/botox, due to quarantine…. 😉 Ill go with all of the above as the reason for looking older/aging.
  • hair noticeably damaged / breakage / very dry. *see photos below* I now have what I call “baby bird hair” ….It’s basically somewhat of a mullet. Its like the hair all on top and around my face, decided to break off half way, leaving me with…. this………. I don’t even know what —
  • …BUT besides ALL OF THAT.…. .The good news is, my skin has cleared up from all recent breakouts! AND I have NOT had ANY new breakouts!!!! 🙂
  • By month 6: (June) I am BEYOND happy with how much my skin has cleared up —

*YASSSS*!!!!

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July 2020

• Dosage: 40MG, once daily.

• Side effects:
  • extremely DRY peeling lips.
  • very dry eyes, they blur a bit at times during the day and even harder to focus at night.
  • hair is dry and brittle. tonssssssss of breakage now.
  • Noticeably drier skin on my body. My hands/elbows/knees/legs/chest/back/belly/scalp – pretty much everywhere, get ashy, wrinkled and feel tight.
  • slight joint pain, leg/shin pain, and some aches overall my body when doing physical actives.
  • extreme sun sensitivity……she still burns. easily.
  • Your skin will then proceed to naturally reject any melanin you may have gotten from the summer and peel/exfoliate/shed/ all of your tan, ** like a cheese grader and pepper shaker ** for the following days to weeks, until you are pale AF again…. -_- for real, after each shower – post being out in the sun – while drying off, my tan skin was ALL over my towel… Little balls of tan dead skin cells. I became super patchy…. it looked like I had a bad spray tan… but it was in fact just my skin. gross.
  • More tired in the morning than usual.
  • but… STILL NO breakouts!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂

PSA FREIND’S: Learn from my mistakes,
YOU MUST WEAR SPF 50, OR HIGHER!!!!! AND RE-APPLY OFTEN!!!!!!
(this was how my nose, shoulders, arms and back looked peeling after they burned, because i was only wearing spf 30… which you can clearly see, was NOT enough while on this medication.)

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August 2020

• Dosage: 60MG…..(30MG, 2X a day. once morning and once night.)

• Side Effects:
  • occasional patches of hives. (appearing randomly on my neck, chest and left shoulder.)
  • peeling and dryness around my mouth (both corners) and my ears!
  • dry cracked peeling bleeding lips. #crusty
  • insomnia. *NOTE: I don’t sleep great as is. But this could be worsen due to the frequent storms/hurricanes we’ve been having the last few weeks, AND the last two nights at 3am my smoke detectors started to chirp needing new batteries……… BUT i can’t rule out it may also be due to the medication.)
  • Overall v tired ….*but probs due to the whole not sleeping thing…*
  • kinda foggy / distracted…. *also see above – *
  • life-like nightmares and dreams when i do “sleep.” And i mean i literally wake up questioning if whatever really happened… They are SO vivid and detailed – it’s cray.
  • dry eyes.
  • Honestly, the absolute clearest skin i have had in YEARS! *happy dance*

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… TO BE CONTINUED NEXT MONTH ….

I may not be done my course yet – but I honestly wish I had done the treatment years ago…even though my breakouts were less severe when I was younger, I wish I had just gotten the journey over with earlier in life!! (Rather than experiencing the total embarrassment and self conciseness of it…literally crying desperately while following a strict skincare routine, lathering my face in prescriptions and praying to the skin Gods to clear me up….only to continuously look in the mirror, waiting for results but instead feeling distraught as my skin only got worse.) The beginning was rough, and some of the side effects can be tough….BUT the side effects i have experienced, are nothing compared to to the feeling i had while dealing with my breakouts! I am THRILLED with my results so far as i’m closing in on the end of my treatment!

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September 2020

• Dosage: Continuing 60MG…..(30MG, 2X a day.)

• Side Effects:
  • some peeling and dryness around my mouth, around the bottom of my nose and down the bridge of my nose.
  • VERY dry cracked peeling bleeding lips again.
  • insomnia. Vivid AF dreams.
  • some blurry vision and dry eyes.
  • I did have Three super small “breakouts” (Nothing like i was going though before – not cysts – they literally were superrrrr small tiny red bumps, looked more like bug bites to be honest ?? They also only last maybe 2 days…?? but that was a bit depressing to experience after having such amazing clear skin for the last couple months — hopefully this was in fact a bug bite or just randomly due to exterior bacteria for whatever reason…

Some other good news: I think the hair care i have been using the last two months has improved the texture/thickness of my hair! My mom and fiancé both noticed/mentioned this — It seems to be much softer/thicker/fuller/healthier looking!! — (all that is listed below with direct links to shop if interested!!)

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OCTOBER 2020

• Dosage: Continuing 60MG…..(taking two 30MG together, 1X a day.)

• Side Effects:
  • Some peeling and dryness around my mouth, and down the bridge of my nose.
  • The rash came back a little bit on the tops of my hands. Not as severe as i had before.
  • Dry cracked lips still…
  • Lips are cracking and peeling on and around the corners much more/deeper. They crack open when i open my mouth too far, yawn or smile.
  • Dry nasal passage. I had a small nose bleed… Nothing as severe as i had before.

November 2020

• Dosage: Continuing 60MG…..(taking two 30MG together, 1X a day.)

• Side Effects:
  • Dry cracked peeling lips.
  • Waking up with dry blood in my nose, and had two more legit nose bleeds so far this month. *The weather has been super dry and very cold so I’m sure that is the trigger on top of the medication.*

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FYI: I Plan to update 6 months from now
(AND/OR if any other changes I feel I should share happen prior!)
So be sure to check back if you’re interested!

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UPDATES:
– My lips went back to normal two weeks post treatment. No more peeling, etc.
– My skin started to produce *some* oil again in the T-zone about three months after. (Nothing oily like it was before, but I do see some shine now later in the day, and the tight skin on my face has soften again.)
– No breakouts as of 7 months after finishing treatment! Still clear skin!!!! 🙂
– officially 1 year later: and still NO CYSTIC ACNE SINCE TREATMENT!!!!!!

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Products I recommend
while on Accutane…

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If you are someone who is thinking about this treatment option or gearing up to starting, i have a bunch of products i would recommend you *add to cart* now, to prepare!

These have all helped me a TON
while dealing with all the side effects mentioned above!

• Face:
  • Acne patches. THESE are amazingggg. They are great for two reasons. 1. they are medicated so they can be used at night while you sleep, to help draw out the bad stuff. They heal your break out spots quicker, with less chance of scaring. 2. they are super thin, making them almost “invisible.” they blend in very well with your skin. like a little skin patch…its great for the blemishes you just can’t conceal with makeup…. (you can also wear makeup over top if needed to help blend the appearance of the patch with your skin.)
  • Moisturizer: fragrance free and perfect for sensitive skin. A MUST. This is a thicker cream formula that absorbs well and pretty quickly into the skin. perfect for super sensitive/dry skin. *this can be used on face and body*
  • SPF 100: This is a great affordable go-to, it doesn’t leave any white residue after applying and gives a matte finish to the skin. super light weight and absorbs quick!
  • Zinc SPF 50: Zinc offers the BEST UVA protection. This can be used on the face body and lips.
  • hyaluronic acid serum:  Hydrating and anti-aging benefits! To make the most out of hyaluronic acid as an anti-aging ingredient, use it in the form of serum and apply it on damp skin, then apply a moisturizer on top. This will seal in the moisture and also provide moisture for the HA to absorb.

• Lips:
  • lip mask: This is not the intended purpose for this product obviously ….HOWEVER ….TRUST ME, it works SO well for this!!!! i apply it at night and wake up with fresh soft lips!! its perfect when your lips are SUPER chapped/sensitive/sore. I use it at night usually, because i like to use a THICK layer. its super emollient . i keep a small size on hand and apply a thinner layer during the day if needed.lip SPF: Works great, non-irritating, and high level sun protection
  • Lip balm stick: The OG version but now in stick / solid formula. This can be used on the lips, face, hands, etc anywhere you are dry! Clear and thinner formula.
  • Lip balm ointment: THE OG — this is great for lips, face and body. Clear. Thicker formula.
  • Medicated healing lip balm: This is made with hydrocortisone CortiBalm and is designed for those taking accutane ! i also like to use this over night because i dont love the taste of it when i accidentally eat it lol but you can use it day or night!! 🙂

• Body:
  • moisturizing skin cream for on the go: smaller size, fragrance free, a must for sensitive skin. *can be used on face and body*
  • – moisturizer: Dry Skin Relief Lotion. absordbs quickly. Contains 7 intensive moisturizers. Work so well hydrating my skin when it is super dry/rough/dehydrated.
  • Body lotion : has a very nice smell, lightly scented, cream oil infused body lotion.
  • hyaluronic acid body balm

• Hair:
  • repairing shampoo – for Dry, dull, distressed, damaged hair. restores & prevents — PLUS this line smells AMAZING!!!
  • repairing conditioner strengthens & restores, leaving hair more healthy and resilient.
  • repairing leave in treatment 5-In-1 Damage Protection, help prevent hair breakage. *75% reduction in breakage with a system of Extreme Shampoo, Conditioner and leave in treatment.*

• MISC:
  • Humidifier: This helps some with the dry skin/lips/hair, but also a huge help to prevent the nosebleeds!
  • Eye drops: Dry eye relief. helps sooth and refresh when they feel dry.
  • Shampoo & conditioner: Another Great option for hair: This is to help prevent and fix the damaged hair…i wish i started hair care items sooner to help prevent!!!
  • Hair mask: affordable Wash out mask treatment. Leaves your hair restored, repairs and strengthens hair.
  • Leave in conditioner: Also another recommended Leave in treatment. keratin helps to repair heavily damaged hair, and strengthen severely weakened hair.

• I also found this facebook group super helpful while taking the medication: Search “Girls Helping Girls With Accutane.” Its a private members only group, so you will need to be accepted. But its a great way to chat with others who are going through the same treatment as you, and can help with any question you may have about acne, or accutane!

I hope you found this *UNFLATTERING but open and honest* post helpful!!

If you have any more questions at all,
PLEASE comment them below!!
I would LOVE to help you
in any way that I can!!! 🙂